Judge not lest ye be judged yourself

Religion aside, it's a simple mantra to live by.  A general "moral" rule of thumb.  Yet, there will always continue to be those people out there who will do exactly that, though fail to see their wrongdoing in the situation.

My unfortunate example of this for the day: Another blogger parent out there with more on his plate than he and his wife deserve, but doing the very best they can.

He is very open and honest about the journey they're on, and how difficult the road can be on even an hourly basis.  He shares the story that far too many of us are familiar with in the struggle to raise special needs children.  For many of us (and I know speaking for myself personally), it's a great inspiration as well as comforting to know that we are not alone in this.

Parenting, is always a hotbed of debate.  Since none of us were issued an instruction manual upon birth, we all have differing views on the specifics of raising a child.  Add to that a special needs child (or in some peoples case, multiple special needs children), and surely, the shit is going to hit the fan at some point.  War's alone could rage over parenting till the end of time.

So recently it seems, some people have chosen to accost him, over the methodology, and just in general, about the way he is fathering his children.  Going as far as to make threats that he is abusive, and the age ol' threat of involving authorities in the matter.


First and foremost, any parent who takes the time to create a blog in reference to their children in attempt to connect with other parents in a similar situation, certainly is well invested in meeting that child's needs.  One does not seek advice, were they to be neglectful, or unconcerned about their children.  This should come as basic common sense although often, common sense is non existent in the general population.  


Secondly, people are allowed to have feelings, and frustrations.  You do not need to agree with them, or approve.  We're human, and it happens to all of us.  No parent has always been a hundred percent chipper all the time.  With that being said, that does not suggest that an individual is abusive, or does not care for their child or children.  We all fall down.


And last but not least, until you've been in this situation yourself, you have no basis to opine, let alone make accusations.  This is where passing judgment eventually is going to come back and bite you in the ass!  You may read the blog and surmise your take on what life is like with special needs children, though that in no way makes you an expert, or gives you the right to suggest abuse.  If there were posts that suggested neglect, abuse, or anything other than genuine concern for the children, then I certainly missed them, and whole slew of other readers.  


I could expound for years on this topic, as I've had the displeasure of being in this situation myself.  Special needs is exactly that, a child who requires things to be done differently.  There is a myriad of modalities from proactive to reactive and everything in between.  Unless you either have a child like this, or your educated to work with the population, you haven't the faintest idea what is right, wrong, or what it takes to raise children like this.  Behavioral theory is a vital component for ALL children to be successful.


And sadly, the end result of people who interfere and make threats is that they diminish the child himself as well as the parents.  You are not seeing the who and what that makes him up and instead passing judgment on what is a legitimate disability, and the caregivers so desperately trying to provide the best care for him.  These are people facing unreasonable odds, and still take the time to try and help others out there faced with the same situation.  How is that abusive?  It's commendable, and you be ashamed for being such a vacuous waste of space in our society.  What good are you providing in general, let alone for these people?

There is a reason one should not judge unless your willing to stand up to scrutiny yourself and prove you are infallible.  Until such time as you can do that, your should just keep your comments to yourself, and let others live their lives with out being exposed to your ignorance.