When staff are the bully

Ironic, isn’t it.  Those in charge of ensuring children aren’t subjected to bullying, often times are the actual bully, or working in concert with the aggressor.  Sadly it’s becoming common place in the special education world, and far too often it goes unchecked until something really horrific happens.  Partly because staff with the intention of malice exploit the very nature of the student’s disabilities, relying on their cognitive functioning level to complicate, or negate believability. Partly because administrative staff have a tendency to turn a blind eye because they are more concerned with staffing and human resource issues that could arise from addressing instances in which bullying has been suggested, or concerns relayed to them.

Parents often lack credibility in the eyes of staff, and are accused of being overly emotional, irrational, or not properly educated in the ways of disability.  Where there are certainly instances in which the above is true, it does not negate all claims made on behalf of their children. 

This is a system that is stacked against you, in which you rarely are the victor, and are often left picking up the pieces of damage that happens to your child, or in some cases, the continued harassment your child is subjected to simply because you suggested bullying may have occurred. 

When you bring up concerns about staff interaction with regard to safety, and professionalism, and suddenly instances of involuntary seclusion, denial of basic civil rights such as access to the bathroom on request, and students being encouraged or allowed to physically assault your child routinely, what do you call that?  Over active imagination?  Coincidence?  Happenstance?  A simple misunderstanding times multiple incidents?  Or is it exactly what it sounds like?

What is it when you work in the same profession, have more education, and know exactly how situations are supposed to be handled, yet your words are worthless?

Why do your tax dollars support a system that can often do more harm than good to the child and there is so little recourse to right injustice?

Where is the intrinsic motivation of the professional to do there job well, properly, and with pride that they are working in the best interest of the child?

How have we come so far since 1975, yet in so many ways, little has changed?

Who is going to ever right this system so that it actually does what it is intended to do on behalf of these children?

My voice is often lost in a myriad of meetings, emails, and grievances, with little to no real resolution..........how then will my child’s voice ever be heard, or for the children who have no voice?

One step forward, ten steps back.

After an exceptionally challenging school year I've come to the conclusion that it's time for change.  Between personal life aspects of the boy and his education, the economy, and my general energy level, it's time to go back to the drawing board.  I had planned on going down this road in the future; just not this near future.  Such as life.

I really do believe that being a Special Advocate is my perfect niche.  I have a fierce justice complex, and the tenacity to back it up when those less fortunate are being screwed over in the mix.  Too many years of games and flaming hoops with regard to my son have created a take no prisoners attitude in me when it comes to the law.

My bigger issue is if I have it in me right now to go back to school.  My time is extremely limited between my own classroom, the boy, the neurotypical daughter I'm putting through college, and that each day only allots 24 hours to get it all done in.  I'm in great hope that I just feel like I've been put through the wringer because this last year was the most physically and emotionally demanding that I've encountered in eleven years; only time will tell with that one.

Normally, I wouldn't even consider taking this leap with all that is my life.  As usual though, change is necessitated through some less than desirable happenings within the public system in my neck of the woods, and that shit aint gonna fly with me.  These are changes that will not benefit the greater good, and they are very swift moving with this new agenda.  While it will always be my responsibility to advocate for my son, and my students, I feel compelled to serve more, as this will affect most children in this district negatively.  And we all know that once one entity starts to make major change, the rest follow suit.

Details will remain in my own head for now; call it paranoia, but since information I receive is confidential in nature, and was not intended for my eyes, I'll just keep it all to myself.  It's sufficiently compelling to cause me to further overwhelm myself, as well as invest a chunk of money that I could certainly use elsewhere just to rail against this new proposal (which should speak for itself).

So, one step forward for me..............because I cannot allow them to go ten steps back.

When the system fails...........

Just a quick "quip" about my personal experience, and a recent article I just happened upon.

My son's school district is having massive financial issues, and really, this isn't new news if your a resident of this county.  It also isn't surprising, given our current economic climate (or how I like to view it, the toilet).  Tough choices have to be made, no one is going to be happy, and we all have to give up a little; I accept this (though I've been doing that for years, long before the current economic mess).

Were this to be a truly solid educational model, that operated efficiently, and served the students within it well, I would have little to say on the subject; nobody likes change, that's a given.  But since my experience has been one of constant struggles to attain/maintain even basic services, and compliance with IDEA/FAPE (to the extent that my son has made little to no progress in the last five years academically), I find it a very bitter pill to swallow that I should stand for more to be taken away from him.

And then, you top it off with a carefully placed quote saying that risking litigation is acceptable, to reduce services in the special education model further?  A program in which this district is more than often not fully providing in the first place, and the only reason to date there hasn't been more litigation is because of the burden of cost on parents to proceed legally?

Worry not, I'll be standing by "pro pers" should this district proceed to further impact my son's education.  Cost shall not intimidate me from seeking what he is legally entitled to.

Keep up that smug attitude; I guarantee it will come back to bite you in the ass!

Look before you leap; the politics of Special Education

For some time now (most aggressively this last school year), there has occurred some major shake ups with respect to special education here in this county.  In theory, it's supposed to equate to nearly a complete overhaul of the system.  As with any issue where tax payer dollars are involved, there will certainly be political agendas behind it.  While change is often for the greater good, the message conveyed behind why the change is necessary, often gets lost, muddied, or was simply an "excuse" to satisfy the people, and hide the real intention behind it.

Based on a report of analysis of the current educational model here, many suggestions were made, that are in fact very legitimate, and in desperate need of change.  They highlighted the disproportionate amount of special ed. students being segregated to special day classes, separate sites, etc., as well as some huge inaccuracies in particular ethnic groups being labeled as disabled, when in fact those issues stem from social maladjustment. 

These are important key points to look at.  Students need opportunity to be placed in the least restrictive environment and to be educated with their non disabled peers to the maximum extent appropriate.  The other students have the right to be educated with their non disabled peers, and not be subjected to profiling based on their color, where they end up inappropriately labeled as something they are not.

It all sounds fantastic and beneficial in theory.  It's as if someone waved a magic wand, and suddenly the district woke up.  Were it not to coincide with a massive budget gap, and a failing economy, it would seem pure in intention.  Some may say that's just killing two birds with one stone, and you're being to cynical to see the forest through the trees.

Let's examine some of the underlying issues that are prevalent already with the old model, and how they will one, continue to affect the new model, and two, due to the budget, create a massive failure of the new model.

Adequate training.  This is a huge issue in general.  Those classified as special education staff, often lack even rudimentary knowledge in behavioral theory.  They may be sent to a workshop on a particular topic sporadically, but it's often a band-aid at best.  They are not given the opportunity to thoroughly learn the nuances of behavioral theory, and put them into practice.  This isn't just at the parapro level, this is true of the teachers as well.  So, there is a behavior department, which is much more thoroughly trained, has access to creating visuals, and comes out as support to these individuals, to teach them what they weren't given the opportunity to learn.  Once again, sounds great.  Except that within this district there is a growing sense of disdain towards the special ed. population, and the current crop of staff that believe that these students don't have the right to have behavior, or that they as staff, shouldn't have to put up with the level of intensity that some children display.  So the behavior department tries their best to train them, and show them the error of their ways, and give them the tools that will make these students successful, though they are often met with hostility, and refusal by the part of the staff.  They refuse to implement these tools, and ultimately the students suffer.

These are people who are supposed to be best suited to work with the special ed. population, who actively made the choice to work with these students.  They lack the necessary skills, and desire to learn how to help these children.

Now, those issues go mostly unchecked.  The district decides it's going to adopt a new model, and begin mass integrating most of these students back into regular education.  To exposing them to staff that have zero experience or training with this population.  The simplest answer would be to begin training the regular ed. staff prior to the shift, so that these students don't fall by the wayside (or even training them at all).  This is all set up under the guise of providing these students with the least restrictive environment, and trying to be in line with what federal regulations mandate.

But, no such training is taking place.  Add to that, once some students are placed, the request for support can take several months to arrive, meanwhile, once again, the student suffers.  This does not smell of genuine concern to mainstream a child, but rather a means to an end to ease budget woes.  Educating students in special day class, separate facility or even non public settings is extremely costly.  Some non public settings can range between $166 to $235 dollars a day.

Were the district to be actively training and transition planning for this influx of students, this cause would seem genuine.  I find it hard to swallow that this is their actual intention; to provide for the greater good of these students, and not to simply save money.

Even more interesting is that these decisions for this new model come at a time when there is no superintendent, and a blood bath taking place amongst the school board.  Budget cuts,  poor economy, no actual leader, political infighting; very interesting timing indeed.  Change is vital to progress, when the intention is genuinely designed to affect the greater good; not place further constraints on an already broken system.

Maybe I just have a biased opinion from personal experience working in conjunction with this district, and having a child not being served by it adequately.  Maybe I have a skewed view because I have the luxury of intensive training, and staff who genuinely believe in what they do, and are always willing to learn new things. Or maybe, it's just the skeptic in me, that screams this is not what it seems, don't let them pull the wool over your eyes on this issue, while these students get lost in the maze, and will only further regress.

They say patience is a virtue, though I hold little faith that patience will show with time that this move will work out for all, and is a heartfelt sentiment on behalf of the district that is just simply experiencing some growing pains.

My two cents on the subject.

When those in charge of compliance, are ironically out of compliance

The special education system is often like a labyrinth at times, and can create enough frustration, that you almost give up on the whole process.  Opinion and interpretation are at times, not relevant to the regulations or law, which is just one trapping of the system.  I'm okay with that though; it's true of all life situations.  Where the law is clear cut though, is a whole other matter.  There's a system of safeguards in place that are carefully laid out, and the what, why and where of receiving help. 

Cool beans, right?  Well, that is if the people in charge of those safeguards actually adhere to them, or aren't guilty of misconduct themselves.  There's a chain of command for such situations, because unfortunately people fail in their duties at times, and occasionally you have to seek help from someone above them.  But what happens when EVERYBODY in the chain is out of compliance? I mean that is aside from you developing a permanent eye twitch, and wanting to pull your hair out on a regular basis.

My very unfortunate personal example:  First, you discover there are compliance issues with your child's IEP, and you then address that to the principal (check).  Principal admits "Oops" (though it's their oversight to ensure such issues don't occur), but does nothing to correct it.  Next step, you discuss this with your ombudsperson, and file a district level compliance complaint (check).  Meanwhile, about fifteen other compliance issues emerge, so you again, attempt to contact your ombudsperson, to begin the process of filing more compliance complaints (check).  You diligently await your first compliance complaint investigation to be completed, and the resulting investigate report that will contain the corrective action (check).  But you still haven't been able to amend the other fifteen issues that have occurred, because said person never bothers to get back to you, or give you access to the paperwork to file to correct it all.  After a certain period of time, this person is now out of compliance for not getting you either the compliance paperwork, or concluding the compliance investigation, and informing you of the result (check).

Is that ironic?  The person in charge of compliance, can't manage to be in compliance themselves.  What's even more ironic, is that you can't get a hold of the person to determine who you report them to for their failure, because they are the omnipotent power in charge of all issues within the district. 

Meanwhile, your child suffers in this broken system.  And because you do things such as file complaints over legal issues (not your typical "I'm an overprotective parent that can't be satisfied because you didn't wipe his nose 25 times today"), staff begin to view your child unfavorably, and will even go so far as to create behaviors.  They even accidentally send you an email discussing how they are going to willfully be non compliant of the law, because they don't care for your previous actions with regard to filing compliance complaints (and well, if you can't get a hold of the person in charge of these issues, your left talking to thin air).

It's a sad state of affairs.  Like these children don't have enough to face everyday.

It situations like these that makes us such a litigious society.  It's one thing when it's only one link in the chain that is weak; it's another thing when it's the whole entire chain.

Public transit individuals not qualified to make a diagnosis

I am still so extremely angry and bothered by yesterday's experience with trying to get my son his disabled transit ID.  The sheer ignorance, audacity, and flat out rudeness of the lady I dealt with yesterday is still reeling in my mind.  Over the years we definitely have had some situations that irritate you, but this one was by far the worst situation I've had to experience.

We had to travel all the way downtown to The Transit Store, which in itself is always a nightmare.  Traffic is horrible, parking will cost you ten dollars an hour (and you still have to hike four blocks or more to get to your desired location), and it's a sensory disaster waiting to happen for someone who is Autistic.  We avoid downtown like the plague (America's finest city, really?).  Never mind that this also entails both of us having to be present to hopefully prevent any meltdowns, and the cost involved with the subsequent loss of work to perform this task.


My students all have transit ID's, and I've been through this process before; it's typically a piece of cake.  Filled out application form, student ID, and an IEP listing federal handicapping code.  Pay fee, take picture, out the door you go.  Yesterday, was by no stretch of the imagination, easy.


We hand all necessary items to clerk/attendant/rude, unqualified, and incapable of reading a simple date transit worker.  First, she argues that there is no date on the IEP.  Really, the date of the annual, the date of the last triennial, or the date of entrance to special ed?  There's many to choose from, and make it quite clear that said disability is evidently not "temporary" (entrance date of 2001 should make that pretty abundantly clear, but maybe Im just being snarky).

Next, she apparently decides (after we point out the dates to her), that she want's to question his disability.  She asks another (much older I might add) transit worker to come over, look at the IEP (because evidently their experience must be limited), and then has the gall to point my son out.  My blood began to boil.  Who the hell are you to point out my child, and look him up and down trying to decide for yourself if you think he is Autistic or not!  Who are you to publicly embarrass him in front of about 20 other people, and pass judgment on his disability and it's validity in your eyes.  What gives you the qualifications to make such an assumption?

Clerk/attendant/rude, unqualified, and incapable of reading a simple date transit worker came back to the window after consulting with said older other transit worker (who looked clearly embarrassed herself for her co-workers behavior), and very curtly said "Go to the next window for your photo", and stomped off.

This whole little display had angered us, and my son even says "Why is everyone staring at me" and "how come she can't read an IEP?" and the kicker was when he said "Im sorry Im causing so many problems".  Granted my son is very high functioning, but appearance alone is not a determination of who is, or isn't Autistic.

We get in line,  take his photo, and wait to get his new ID.  It's spring break, and it's time to begin mobility training; the earlier we start the better odds that he'll be independent in the future.

We thought the whole skirmish was over, and that we'd be on our way in no time at all (ha).  We receive his ID, and in beautiful bold red lettering does it state "temporary ID".  What, and wtf?  Im not new to this.  Disabled ID's for transit are good for five years (temporary ID's are issued for well, temporary disabilities).  When did Autism become temporary?  She couldn't help herself obviously, and in her spite marked our application temporary (according to her ability to "see" my son's disability) .  Was there a supervisor in site to help us with this situation, of course not.

If the ID's were only to be issued yearly, I would suck it up and deal with it; policy is policy.  I of course know this isn't the case, and am pissed as hell that this little trollop had the nerve to be so petty, and unprofessional by just adding insult to injury after her little public display of knowledge.

My only recourse was to email the transit authority, and make it very clear that this issue needs to be resolved accordingly, and that failure to do so will result in a subsequent filing of an OCR action.

Such instances are a travesty to our children, and anyone who has a disability.  I find it repulsive that people can be so ignorant.  I find it even more disturbing that had I not the knowledge of their policies, I would have been unaware of what they had just done to my son.

April is Autism Awareness month, and clearly, we haven't got the message out to enough people yet.

It's Autism Awareness month..........

April begins the month of spreading the word, and hopefully educating people to what Autism is. It seems odd, given the statistics of what the rate of occurrence currently is, that such a task is even necessary. By now, it should have touched your family, friend, co-worker, an encounter in the grocery store, etc.

Maybe it has, maybe it hasn't; maybe you simply weren't listening.

It is evident in the blog-o-sphere, that it hasn't reached everyone, or that what grasp they have on the disorder is limited, or even biased and misconstrued.

There has recently been some upheaval in the blog world over an individual potentially being unaware of the traits of Autism, and labeling the child she came across as simply "bratty" or "over indulged" by her grandmother. Those of us who have Autism in our life, very clearly assessed the odds that this child was Autistic, and that she was simply misunderstood.

And out came the wolves. Multitudes of individuals praising the writer for her disdain with the child's public behavior, the shared irritation they would have felt with the situation, and the applaud for her "normal" children behaving so well with the experience.

This is where awareness, has gotten us almost no where, and we have so far yet to go.

Some commentary was made from the other side (let's indulge and say "our" side), and explained that this child was most likely Autistic, and the subsequent nuances that come with her behavior. This caused some people who had been rather nasty, to take a step back, and re-examine their position. Yet others, wanted to hear nothing about it. These are the people that no amount of awareness, will change their view. They are of the belief that our children are not "normal" and therefor, should not have the same privileges as their children. This is an unfortunate perception in society, and some will even go on to say that our children are a drain on society, and not worthy of the cost or effort required to help shape them to be as independent and "normal" as possible.

First, there really is no such animal as "normal". There is the kind politically correct phrase of "neurotypical". And just what does that translate into: typical. Typical is average. Typical is vanilla. Typical is being awash in a sea of similarity, with no distinction. Typical, is having nothing special that sets you apart from the rest of the population.

"Normal" or "typical" children (and adults for that matter) run the risk of being a financial burden on our society. In reality, more often than not, it is the "normal" individual that costs us, not vice versa. They cost us in taxpayer dollars for incarceration, in increased taxes from failure to pay debt, in public defenders, drug rehab programs, and more examples than I can list. Some would argue then that these individuals are not normal either but then, who is? That would equate to a very small portion of society. Why are their needs and cost acceptable, and not our affected children?

Secondly, what expertise do such individuals have to determine "normal". Are you certain beyond a shadow a doubt that your own child meets the definition? What happens if down the road your child should be affected mentally or physically? Will they still be "normal" in your eyes (will you lie to yourself because not being "normal" is such a travesty). Or will you turn your back on them because they no longer fit your preconceived bias of how a child should be?

All we can do is attempt to spread the word of awareness and hope for acceptance. Unfortunately, there will be some individuals we'll never get through to.

I'll gladly take my atypical, non-average, more flavorful than vanilla child over your child any day. His uniqueness runs circles around your "normal" child.

End rant.

To blog, or not to blog..............

A question I am asked occasionally, is why do I not blog more?

For me, this is a mixed bag. Some can be attributed to the fact that I lack the time (given what I face in the home, and all the focus and energy that requires). Some is the fact that there is no real privacy on the internet, and information can lead back to you and particular opinion's you express *may* or *may not* affect the view of your child, as well as your professional life. And then simply, there's those pesky naysayers who make it their mission to disagree with everything you say, and add to the upheaval that is already your life.

Add to that, the time already used with the 5,000 social networks, feeds, and other miscellaneous sources being utilized to stay ahead of the game, with respect to what is going on with this particular disorder/methodology/legal logistics, etc.

There is the occupational hazard of being involved in the special education world, and though you say your work will remain at work, you find yourself bringing work home to eat up what precious little free time you may have available.

There are countless hours spent reading, crafting, and drafting emails with regard to your own child's progress, educational program, behavioral intervention design, and the research required to be your own advocate, and align your commentary with legal statutes and provisions.

In a nutshell, there is very little time to post anything meaningful, coherent, or even worthy of interest to other people out there. Some of us are spent.

What was the whole point of this rant, you say? Aside from justifying my bad blogger tendencies (as some would say, if your going to leave it idle, remove it), I was reminded today that sometimes, you need to make that time.

I ran across a blog recently of some parents who like many of us are, very isolated and feeling alone in their daily battle of raising special needs children. They detail what many of us experience on a daily basis, as well as far too often the fallout, and lack of support that we often desperately need. Cue naysayers in 1, 2, 3, 4...................

Let me just make this bold assertion of my opinion, and be quite clear about what I don't want to hear. We may seem negative. We may seem as though we are complaining about what we were handed with these special needs children, and all that entails. We are often lost, and tired. We often have no support available for us to keep from hitting the lowest of lows. We do have small victories, and joys with regard to our children; we often miss them because we are beyond stressed, and over worked. We do not always voice those joys, because often people look down on us for thinking something so small was worthy of noting (the classic double edged sword we face daily).

I find this behavior in general irritating, and it keeps me away from blogging as well. I will say though, until you've lived it, you really have no legitimate opinion to express.

So whereas I may not become a regular blogger from this point forward, I do realize the need to try a little harder. Parents like us are the only support system we have out there, and the only people who will truly help us through our darkest days.................