To blog, or not to blog..............

A question I am asked occasionally, is why do I not blog more?

For me, this is a mixed bag. Some can be attributed to the fact that I lack the time (given what I face in the home, and all the focus and energy that requires). Some is the fact that there is no real privacy on the internet, and information can lead back to you and particular opinion's you express *may* or *may not* affect the view of your child, as well as your professional life. And then simply, there's those pesky naysayers who make it their mission to disagree with everything you say, and add to the upheaval that is already your life.

Add to that, the time already used with the 5,000 social networks, feeds, and other miscellaneous sources being utilized to stay ahead of the game, with respect to what is going on with this particular disorder/methodology/legal logistics, etc.

There is the occupational hazard of being involved in the special education world, and though you say your work will remain at work, you find yourself bringing work home to eat up what precious little free time you may have available.

There are countless hours spent reading, crafting, and drafting emails with regard to your own child's progress, educational program, behavioral intervention design, and the research required to be your own advocate, and align your commentary with legal statutes and provisions.

In a nutshell, there is very little time to post anything meaningful, coherent, or even worthy of interest to other people out there. Some of us are spent.

What was the whole point of this rant, you say? Aside from justifying my bad blogger tendencies (as some would say, if your going to leave it idle, remove it), I was reminded today that sometimes, you need to make that time.

I ran across a blog recently of some parents who like many of us are, very isolated and feeling alone in their daily battle of raising special needs children. They detail what many of us experience on a daily basis, as well as far too often the fallout, and lack of support that we often desperately need. Cue naysayers in 1, 2, 3, 4...................

Let me just make this bold assertion of my opinion, and be quite clear about what I don't want to hear. We may seem negative. We may seem as though we are complaining about what we were handed with these special needs children, and all that entails. We are often lost, and tired. We often have no support available for us to keep from hitting the lowest of lows. We do have small victories, and joys with regard to our children; we often miss them because we are beyond stressed, and over worked. We do not always voice those joys, because often people look down on us for thinking something so small was worthy of noting (the classic double edged sword we face daily).

I find this behavior in general irritating, and it keeps me away from blogging as well. I will say though, until you've lived it, you really have no legitimate opinion to express.

So whereas I may not become a regular blogger from this point forward, I do realize the need to try a little harder. Parents like us are the only support system we have out there, and the only people who will truly help us through our darkest days.................

The wheels on the bus.........come to a screaching halt!

Simply put, bus drivers, they irritate me. Many years of my life have I waisted cleaning up the mess they create, simply because they are under-educated, or ill trained when it comes to the special education population.

My district in particular, touts the "excellent" and "intense" training they go through to become excellent providers of service, and with the highest regard to your child's needs. Really? Seems I've missed those drivers (for the last eight years and multiple placements).

Daily, I find myself confused, disheartened, and down right pissed off at the treatment, lack of professionalism, and omnipotence, in how they deal with the population. At what point during their supposedly so thorough training did they learn behavioral theory, the multitude of facets that come with each and every specific disability (and co-morbidity as well), sensory processing dysfunction, and a slew of other factors that frankly, I'm to tired to list?

It enrages me that these individuals who at most, may spend 2-2 1/2 hrs a day with a particular student, seem to not only know so much about them, but can also in a split second determine what is, and what isn't a manifestation of the child's disability, and there for, consequate them (based on their own belief system, not a carefully crafted behavior support plan, that they refuse to implement).

Let's take a look at these children's support aides, or their teacher's, and how many hours a day they spend with them, and how less reactive, and punitive they respond to minor infractions (being irritated by a child's verbal stim is never an excuse to chastise the parents into feeling so guilty they start privately transporting their child to school, how pathetic). If ever someone was going to be tired, impatient, or potentially annoyed, it would be them (and mind you the typical bus driver in my district makes a salary greater than an aide does, but with significantly less output of work).

What about us parents, who have to bend to your every demand, and complaint because you illicit a response out of our child on a daily basis because you simply are not intelligent enough to realize YOUR FEEDING HIS NEGATIVE ATTENTION SEEKING BEHAVIOR (and failed to implement anything proactively on yourself to prevent you from being so petty).

I mean really, what is the point? Individuals who either can't tolerate all that comes with your typical special ed population (which is a huge list, you don't get to hand pick what behaviors you prefer), or lack the knowledge and willigness to learn, create a huge dis-service to those that they supposedly serve. It goes beyond being counter productive; it's down right insulting.

Some classic examples I have witnessed recently (and just for this school year alone):

"He's to silly, and makes to many animal noises" MR student, non verbal
"He winds up the other kids with his duck noises, and then I can't concentrate" MR student, non verbal
" I do not have to take this kind of verbal abuse!"ED/HFA student
"He threw a paper muffin cup, and I was in fear, and had to duck" ED/HFA student
"He plays with his spit, and it smells" AUT student
"His music is to loud coming from his headphones" Downs student

These are very typical behaviors for their respective conditions. These are children who are placed in the most restrictive placement available in the county due to their often extremely aggressive behavior/self injurous behavior. Your nit picking things like verbal stimms, and proactive stratigies (preferred music and headphones to distract from NAS behavior), when you could be dealing with much worse?

I personally say, get a new job. Your are obviously not equipped to deal with this population, and you make it evident everyday with your ridiculous overly reactive behavior, and negativity. No matter how severly affected a person is, they still can sense disdain in your voice, and dislike on your face.

So much for the happy little nursery ryhme about everything great and fun about riding the bus all through the town!